So M and I ran to Target while C was napping and after a bit she started to get fussy so I headed for the checkout, pausing at the Father's Day cards. I was rocking the basket and some woman came up as said, "How old is she?" I responded, "8 months" and the shrew went on, "Babies that age don't cry for no reason" I smiled and said "yeah, she's getting tired. It's almost naptime". This old bat then snapped at me, "Then what are you doing? She should be home napping or you at least need to be carrying her on your back!" (WHAT?!) I decided to stand up for myself and said, "She's my daughter. It's none of your business." The witch then replied, "Actually it is," then yelled, "BECAUSE IT'S CHILD ABUSE!" All the nearby shoppers turned to look at the child abuser...
Was she trying to shame me? I almost decked the harpy. Who in the world did she think she was? I bet her children, if she even has any, are all in therapy from having a wack like that for a mother.
Why do people give unsolicited parenting advice? You have no idea what sort of day, week, life I have had with my child. Heck, had M been in one of her shrieking fits this woman probably would have called CPS without even coming to see what was happening.
When we spent 6 days in the hospital with M recently due to her low weight gain, her shrill screams became a running joke amongst the pediatric nurses and staff. The first time they heard it they came bolting into our room to see what the problem was (in actuality the issue was that M was mad that her Papa had set her down on her play mat). Upon bursting through the door, M turned saw the nurse and our tech and smiled at them... You see it seems that M has learned when she shrieks, it is impossible for adults to pay attention to C or focus on anything else, such as preparing lunch perhaps, until she stops. The moment you turn your attention to her, the shrieking stops.
Now I do not advocate cry it out, I don't actually advocate anything. I think as a parent you have to figure out what works for you and how to keep yourself sane and the kiddos alive and well. You do the best you can. Some days that means wearing ear plugs when you know the little one is safe, so that you can prepare lunch. Some days that means a long drive in the car and some days that means running to Target a bit too close to nap time in order to pick up the items you need for the following day.
I've decided that next time I see the Mama out at the store, who hasn't had time to shower, so she threw on a baseball hat, rocking her cart back and forth trying to keep the baby from crying, while she is picking out a Father's day card for the man who works super long hours to provide for her and those beautiful, but occasionally trying, kiddos, I wont give her advice, even if I think it might be helpful. Instead I;m going to buy her a Starbucks, offer her a smile and tell her we've all been there, because ain't that the truth!
